Florida Chick in Michigan

So I'm wearing a sweatshirt. It's the end of July - the heart of summer - and I'm wearing a black velour hoodie just to keep warm...this is definitely not South Florida. I realized it last night when I took the kids for ice cream and it didn't drip down their arm in a sticky mess...and when I had to turn the air off in the car because the kids were shivering...and when we slept with the windows open and had to all snuggle tightly together to stay warm. It's like Dorothy when she sees the Oompa Loompas and announces "Toto...we're not in Kansas anymore" (actually I've never seen the entire movie, but I'm told this is what happens - and, okay Oompa Loompas are from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) but honestly, it's much the same...we're definitely not in Fort Lauderdale.

It's funny the things that you begin to accept as normal once to adjust to the pace of a new surrounding. For example, we were sitting at a stoplight yesterday, second in line, when it turned green. The car in front of me didn't notice the color change so Kaitlyn looks at me and says, "Mom, honk the horn - this guys just sitting there," which he was. But even more surprising than the fact that my daughter was ready to honk the horn at this poor guy, was the fact that not one person in line was yelling out their car window or honking their horn at him. Now, we were all complaining to ourselves about this idiot who wasn't moving...but not one person threatened to shoot him for dozing off at a red light...something that has become part of everyday life down south...it's probably the heat - 100 degree weather could make anyone crazy.

I have to say that the cooler weather and calmer pace of West Michigan has many advantages (including not feeling panicky at the stoplight) for example, my hair looks fantastic! I flat ironed it yesterday and it has kept its sleek and smooth shape...no frizzy curls that sneak up on you because of the humidity index of 96. And there are coffee shops on every corner...this is a huge blessing to me because down south my only choices are the ridiculously expensive (but so worth it) Starbucks or the cheaper (and slightly bitter) Dunkin Donuts which has the scary drive through where I always worry that I might get mugged.

As different as my two hometowns are, I'm glad to have two places where I love to be, and to top it all off regardless of where I am, I'm less than a mile from the beach. So that's today's plan, brush my nice flat hair, take my time at thh stoplights and hit the beach...although, today I will be hitting it with a blanket and sweatshirt as well as a mug of off-brand coffee, and off course parkas and mittens for the kids!

Lots of Love from a slightly chilly Florida Chick

Florida Chick Embraces Nature

So, I'm not really an outdoors person. Actually, that's an understatement...I just really don't like the outdoors period. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the environment - as in please recycle and use re-usable grocery bags, and conserve energy in whatever way possible - but loving the environment is completely different from loving the outdoors...which I don't. In fact, I have two major fears in life, the dark, which I think is probably pretty legitimate, and grass, which I know is irrational...but even as I write about it I get a little panicky thinking about walking barefoot through my backyard, seriously, ask my friends...

All that being said, I feel that it is rather ironic that Chris and I have settled down in South Florida. Living down here in July is somewhat like living in the rainforests of Belize...not that I've visited the rainforests of Belize (actually, are there rainforests in Belize?) Anyway, you get the picture - it's hot and steamy. Multiple times a week we find a slug or a toad stuck to our glass doors, and I think that currently there is an infestation of gnats because everytime I go running with Kaitlyn, I seem to run through this black cloud of tiny, flying parasites that get into my eyes and stick to the sweat on my collarbone...seriously, and this is at six in the morning when it's only 92 degrees and 90 percent humidity.

To top it all off, I think it might be critter breeding season. Everytime I open my front door there seem to be 5 billion geckos that go running in all directions...I have no doubt they are making thereselves comfortable in one of the corners of my home. They are gray and green and yellow and all shapes in sizes...and I swear that each day there are more than the day before. Not to be outdone, there now seems to be a family (meaning brothers, sisters, cousins, and grandkids) of giant yellow grasshoppers who are living on our patio. I have never seen anything like these completely disgusting insects but here they are, hopping 8 feet in the air all over the backyard. They are 3 inches long and have managed to eat a majority of my bougain villea...they are not my friends.

Finally, you will be glad to hear that there are now 3 giant iguanas on our school playground instead of two. Usually, since this is summer, it wouldn't be a problem, but since I'm teaching summer camp, I get to hang out with them multiple times a week. Everyone insists that giant iguanas are more afraid of humans than we are of them, but I'm not convinced...and even if they are afraid, they're ugly and I just don't like them.

So here I am...the girl who thinks a great sunny Saturday should be spent curled up indoors with a good book or chick flick, living down in the South Florida rainforest and sharing my home with geckos, gnats and grasshoppers, and sharing my workspace with giant iguanas. My resolve to stay indoors and off of the grass has been strengthed knowing that each of these animals crawls through the lawn and uses it as a toilet and I guess my only comfort is knowing that by going green I am embracing all elements of this great planet...that, and the fact that I have air conditioning, thank goodness!!

Oh, and just so you know that I'm not exaggerating I've included a picture of one of my grasshopper friends...

Lots of Love from the Florida Chick