Florida Chick Embraces Nature

So, I'm not really an outdoors person. Actually, that's an understatement...I just really don't like the outdoors period. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the environment - as in please recycle and use re-usable grocery bags, and conserve energy in whatever way possible - but loving the environment is completely different from loving the outdoors...which I don't. In fact, I have two major fears in life, the dark, which I think is probably pretty legitimate, and grass, which I know is irrational...but even as I write about it I get a little panicky thinking about walking barefoot through my backyard, seriously, ask my friends...

All that being said, I feel that it is rather ironic that Chris and I have settled down in South Florida. Living down here in July is somewhat like living in the rainforests of Belize...not that I've visited the rainforests of Belize (actually, are there rainforests in Belize?) Anyway, you get the picture - it's hot and steamy. Multiple times a week we find a slug or a toad stuck to our glass doors, and I think that currently there is an infestation of gnats because everytime I go running with Kaitlyn, I seem to run through this black cloud of tiny, flying parasites that get into my eyes and stick to the sweat on my collarbone...seriously, and this is at six in the morning when it's only 92 degrees and 90 percent humidity.

To top it all off, I think it might be critter breeding season. Everytime I open my front door there seem to be 5 billion geckos that go running in all directions...I have no doubt they are making thereselves comfortable in one of the corners of my home. They are gray and green and yellow and all shapes in sizes...and I swear that each day there are more than the day before. Not to be outdone, there now seems to be a family (meaning brothers, sisters, cousins, and grandkids) of giant yellow grasshoppers who are living on our patio. I have never seen anything like these completely disgusting insects but here they are, hopping 8 feet in the air all over the backyard. They are 3 inches long and have managed to eat a majority of my bougain villea...they are not my friends.

Finally, you will be glad to hear that there are now 3 giant iguanas on our school playground instead of two. Usually, since this is summer, it wouldn't be a problem, but since I'm teaching summer camp, I get to hang out with them multiple times a week. Everyone insists that giant iguanas are more afraid of humans than we are of them, but I'm not convinced...and even if they are afraid, they're ugly and I just don't like them.

So here I am...the girl who thinks a great sunny Saturday should be spent curled up indoors with a good book or chick flick, living down in the South Florida rainforest and sharing my home with geckos, gnats and grasshoppers, and sharing my workspace with giant iguanas. My resolve to stay indoors and off of the grass has been strengthed knowing that each of these animals crawls through the lawn and uses it as a toilet and I guess my only comfort is knowing that by going green I am embracing all elements of this great planet...that, and the fact that I have air conditioning, thank goodness!!

Oh, and just so you know that I'm not exaggerating I've included a picture of one of my grasshopper friends...

Lots of Love from the Florida Chick