Florida Chick Celebrates Mother's Day

I'm going to be honest here...and it's going to get ugly...but honestly, I hate Mother's Day. OK, there, I said it. Fortunately I didn't get hit by lightning or attacked by a Hallmark employee by giving this confession, but honestly, I just really, really hate it.

I'm going to blame this holiday aversion on the media. No matter that I have never, and don't plan on ever, wearing the Starburst Sparkle Pendant from Kay Jeweler, there is something slightly disappointing about waking up on Mother's Day and realizing that there is no velvet jewelry box with a giant bow calling your name. The local news is no better. I woke on Mother's Day to the smiling face of our local news anchor Jackie Nespral who declared that she hoped each and every mother out there was watching her while eating breakfast in bed. "No Jackie!" I wanted to yell, "I'm actually making breakfast for my kids at the moment!" And seriously, have you ever tried to eat breakfast in bed? It is not only difficult but slightly boring if your family makes you breakfast and then runs out of the room to go watch cartoons. I know, I know, I'm being fiesty - selfish and narcissistic even, but really, if you are going to call it Mother's Day, then mothers around the world (or 1246 Madison St. as it were) have the right to hold on to certain expectations. Anyway, in an effort to create a better holiday in the future I am implementing a few rules for my husband - here they are:

1. Do not, ever, buy me a card that you a)haven't first read OR b)don't really mean. For example, the card with the fuzzy mouse on the front that asks for more cuddle time (true story) was not a good choice. First of all, fuzzy mice belong on cards for children under the age of 10 and second, cuddle time has never been something that anyone (i.e. husband) has wanted more of, causing this mother to exclaim, "This was obviously the last card available" before throwing it away.

2. The kids' school Mother's Day cards/projects should not be the only gift given on Mother's Day morning. This is to be considered a gift from the children's teacher (probably also a mother) to the children's mother and not a suitable replacement for a gift from the children's father to their mother.

3. Mother's Day is a day for celebrating mothers and (especially for stay at home moms) does not mean that mom should spend one-on-one time with kids for 12 hours - otherwise it would be called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday - and it's not...it's called Mother's Day!

I know, I know. Harsh, mean, selfish, blah, blah, blah. But truth be told, I'm fed up with Hallmark making the Mother's Day rules and so I'm taking them into my own hands. After my seventh Mother's Day, I'm finally laying down the rules - and next year, I'm going to follow in my sister's footsteps who celebrated Mother's Day by heading out to the spa for a pedicure and followed it with a shopping spree for new shoes, how perfect is that - add me a Starbucks latte and let's celebrate!

Lots of Love From the Florida Chick - Happy Mother's Day!!