Florida Chick goes to the Beach

The arrival of Memorial Day seems to always announce the unofficial beginning of Summer. The calendar still says Spring, and school is not quite out, but really... watermelon, corn on the cob and the opening of seasonal ice cream stores are really what Summer is all about, so unofficially...it's here! Down here in Florida, it seems that Summer is a year round season. The temperature drifts from the low 70's in December to Hotter than Hades in the Summer... but really, it doesn't change all that much and unlike in the North, tourist season is over, so it's relatively quiet in this neck of the woods - apparently with the exception of Memorial Day - when all of the locals come out of hiding, and really, only one thing can be said..."Put some clothes on Miami!!"

I have to say that in general, Hollywood Beach is a very family friendly beach. There is South Beach to the, well, South and Fort Lauderdale to the North so Hollywood (which is right in the middle) has fallen into the laid back, friendly spot for families and senior citizens...and that's really the problem, see, I personally don't think that Senior Citizens should be wearing thongs in public. (Yes, you heard me correctly). Actually, I really don't think that anyone should wear thongs in public - remember the workout fad of the 80's with the thongs and the spandex - I'm sorry, but the public thong is just not flattering - not on a 1980's aerobics instructor, and not on a 70 year old man, no one wants to see wrinkled, pasty, buns while sunning themselves on the beach - frankly, it's an unneccessary visual that is very hard to get rid of.

I also don't think that the string bikini was designed for workouts. First of all running shoes with a swimsuit make an odd combination (followed by the combinations of swimsuits and rollerblades, swimsuits and bicycle helmets, and swimsuits and skateboards). I can understand the sturdy speedo brand swimsuit top with running shorts so as to not sweat as much while working out...but the string bikini? Please, that is just an accident waiting to happen - either by the runner (rollerblader, skater, etc.) who has an escaped body part and gives herself a black eye, or by someone watching who accidently walks into a wall while waiting for an escaped body part to cause the black eye - seriously, it's a no-win situation.

Finally, and I know this is a sensitive issue, but please, a two piece should not be worn, if your stomach hangs so far over your bottoms, that people don't know you are wearing any...find a one-piece. There are millions of magazine articles every year that give various flattering swimsuits for all body types...and not one of them has ever said that the itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikini should be worn by someone who can hide their suit underneath their belly - no! It shouldn't happen - and really, I have to wonder, which clothing company actually decided to make their bikini in a size 52?

I know, I know...I'm being judgmental. But the truth is, I know I'm not perfect so I try my hardest to cover it up. I wouldn't be caught dead in a public thong because no one really needs to know what my rear end looks like. I definately don't want anyone watching me closely when I work out just in case my swimsuit loses control (also because I tend to stop to walk when I'm supposed to be running) and while I do wear a two piece to the beach, at this point everyone can still see both halves and it pretty much covers up most of the dimples and flappies that need to remain hidden. So, in an effort to make Hollywood Beach a better place for the community, I once again offer this advice... Put some clothes on, Miami!!

Lots of Love from the Florida Chick...welcome to Summer!