Florida Chick Wears a Polo

Last week I wore a polo shirt to school. Well, not actually a Polo shirt …but, you know, a polo shirt – with short sleeves and a collar. The kind that Ralph Lauren made famous with a little stitched horse. Mine didn’t have a stitched horse but it did have a school logo – it was nice… the kind of shirt you wear to work on casual day with khakis and loafers, the problem is – I don’t wear khakis…or loafers. So today, on a day that I thought I’d bring school spirit to my students by wearing this polo…with khakis (c’mon, of course I didn’t wear loafers – I wore heels) instead, I brought laughter.
Apparently there is protocol for teachers that wear polos. It’s like the holiday sweater or the jean jumper, certain teachers wear them, but none under the age of 52 and only a few over. It’s an outfit that screams…”hi, I’m a teacher, now go write an essay.” To date, I’ve never been this teacher. I wear heels with everything including jeans (they make me taller than all of my students…and they make me look thin), I wear faux fur vests, and every once in a while a Hannah Montana puff-sleeved shirt. So, needless to say, on the day of the school-spirit polo, I was greeted with several once- overs, quite a few “did the school actually make you wear thats?” various raised eyebrows, and one lunch detention (seriously, you cannot say to a teacher “you look weird” without getting a lunch detention…you just can’t.) It was a banner day in my classroom in which I realized that regardless of how old I get or how much authority I have, it is still awkward to be the “uncool” person in Middle School.
I’ve tried to make up for it for it since then. The next day my heels were extra high and my jewelry was extra trendy. I said things in class like “whatev” and I talked about Twilight as if it weren’t the tackiest trend in literature since Sweet Valley High (oh, c’mon…you know it’s true). I belted out Christmas carols in class and traded in a grammar worksheet for a fun partner activity…all in an effort to regain my status as a non-polo wearing, semi-cool faculty member…and I thought I had done a good job, I thought the whole error in fashion judgment had been erased from the list of transgressions…until one of my co-workers (yes co-workers, not students) said to me with a smirk, “so Mrs. V., nice shirt yesterday.” You’ve got to be kidding me - it was a polo! It’s not like I showed up to school in a robe and fuzzy slippers! But that was it, my status as trend-setting teacher is officially gone, and apparently it’s been replaced with the title of “teacher who is only slightly cooler than one who shows up in a denim jumper” …and with my status officially gone, I’ve realized that there is just one thing left to do…I mean honestly, I might as well at least enjoy myself this holiday season – so Christmas sweater, here I come!